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A Cat Named (N-Word)
One of my earliest memories of my grandfather is of him chasing my cousins and me around the kitchen with his false teeth, making them chatter at us like a cartoon monster’s.
Pop, as we called him, was the undisputed head of our family. We never questioned that my lovely grandmother waited on him hand and foot… that’s just how it was back then. His priorities took precedent and we conformed to his. He was a jokester of utmost proportions. While we kids often found him hilarious, some of his “tricks” took on an edge of cruelty. But that too, was just how it was. Texas of the 1950’s was still a pretty raw place and you needed to be tough to get along.
After Mac, my grandfather’s Chihuahua died, Pop started feeding stray cats, which then took up residence under the house. There was a constantly changing population that fought and bred and ate and slept and died there.
Out of all those original cats, there was only one who was given “House and Lap” status. There was one big, black female who won my grandfather’s attention, so we kids let ourselves love her as well. Because she was Pop’s chosen favorite, we were pretty sure she would not be run off with a pellet gun or drowned in a flour sack, so we felt safe in letting her into our hearts.
This cat’s name was Nigger.
We thought this was a good name because she was a good cat. There were few African Americans in Alice, Texas in 1955. We, and they, called themselves “colored” in those days.
And in any case, I never associated the cat’s name as having anything to do with them. That’s why it was a mystery to me, that every time company came over, my grandmother would furtively take us aside and admonish us to call the cat “Blackie”. Nana would purse her lips and hold us firmly by our upper arm, and whisper “Remember, the cat’s name is Blackie….Blackie…now don’t you forget.”
That added stress to each visit from the neighbors, or friends from the next town over, or the Presbyterian minister, or an occasional elementary teacher from school. One thing puzzled me though… I was pretty sure the neighbors knew what the cat’s real name was because each evening when the cats were fed, my grandfather would stand on the back porch and yell ”Kiiiiiiiiiii……Kiiiiiiii”. That was for the general pack of felines. His favorite cat he would single out with” HEEERE Nigger, Nigger.”
Years later, as I was moving to New York City to pursue a career in the film industry, I remember my Grandmother’s admonishment. “Now honey, remember…if you are on an elevator and a black man gets in… you get out!” Of course, by that age, I knew the power of bigotry, and like Sen. Barack Obama, I cringed, but I forced myself to remember that she was giving me advice based on her conditioning and prejudice.
And just last month I had to endure Sen. Hillary Clinton’s "red phone ad" in Texas. (Note to voting public -- she did not run this ad in Ohio hmm…I wonder why?????) Let’s see. You take a white Texan (82 % of the Texas population)… you subliminally show sleeping children -- apparently white -- and a door slowly opening… who do they want to see… a white mother figure or a tall black man (i.e. “the boogeyman”) creeping into the room.
I think Obama’s courageous speech was absolutely riveting. His beloved grandmother was racist… so was mine, so were many others. But like blacks and whites of previous generations, they came to their conditioning and opinions based on intolerance, fear, and tradition. For many whites, maintaining the status quo and keeping the racial myths alive worked best. For blacks… repression, fear and anger were the result. How could a people not fight back? Are these CNN and Fox neophytes qualified to ask if Rev. Jeremiah Wright has a right to his anger? You tell me what kind of man of his generation could turn his back on his history and be authentic?
Come on… just for a few moments… set aside time-honored bias, open your eyes and mind and walk in his shoes for a bit.
I was a John Edwards fan and I had my concerns about Obama… none of them related to his being half-black and half-white. I just didn’t know enough about him, and I was aware that superb speakers do not always make superb leaders. But his speech on Tuesday brought me to the understanding that this is the man America has been waiting for. His courage to confront this “sensitive” issue (CNN’s words, not mine), his intelligence to emphatically disagree with, but not disown, his pastor, his bridge-building ethnicity, and his conviction, that together, we can recover a proud and just America, has placed me fully in his camp and I hope you will join me in making sure he is the next President of our United States.
-Citizen Voices blogger Candace Suerstedt is a filmmaker and a mother of three who lives in Coronado.
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Mrs. Suerstedt, I would commend you on your article as many people had quite the reaction this week to Obama, his relationship with his pastor and what his reaction to his pastor’s speeches would be. He, unlike any of the other candidates would have to deal with such an issue (although, it would be quite interesting to see the political pundits ask a similar hypothetical question to the other’s and see what the “lithmus” paper would come out).
Now, like you and that cat that your grandfather named, I too had the pleasure to experience the South ten years removed from Central High in Little Rock, Arkansas. A little boy of seven and eight moved to Arkansas from California to live. My grandmother, a school teacher made it a point to not speak of the recent past changes of faded “colored” signs on bathrooms in public places for there were still many who had lived with the conditioning to still not like the changes that had been occurring these past few years for this would stir the pot and draw unwelcome attention to myself: a half asian kid which looked quite different from the overwhelmingly white community.
What struck me the most of Obama (I’m a registered Republican) is his answer about denouncing his pastor in that he questioned and with resolve said how could he deny his pastor, based on what he said… In that act, he basically became an even stronger candidate to consider to show conviction - despite being put in a political head lock --- if he continues to stick to his conviction—it will become a drawing point to moderate republican voters.
I read the title of this item and thought, Oh boy, KPBS’ blogging citizens go off the rails. By the end of the front-page portion, I was convinced of it. While appreciating the well-written, Flannery O’Connoresque walk down crazy lane, I wondered what KPBS would do when its anointed community recruits began to spew nutzo nostalgia for a folksier white supremacist past. I almost didn’t click “read more.”
I have to give Ms. Suerstedt credit. She turned it around in the second half. Pulled it off in about as many words. I didn’t see coming the confession, empathizing with Obama, or the insight into Clinton’s 3 a.m. call.
What I thought was a racist article about a cat turns out to be political fodder against Hillary Clinton and a push for Obama. I did not feel that you had insight into Hillary’s 3a.m. phone call; it was JUST AN OPINION, as is your feelings for Barack Obama.
I have my own opinions and unlike some readers, will NOT be swayed by yours. I would also advise readers to give careful consideration to a possible dilemma: what if Obama had to choose between the US and being a Muslim? Which would take priority? Are the Muslims voting for Obama as well? We all need to do more than judge a book by its cover, an article by its title, or a man (or woman) by color (or sex). More importantly, consideration MUST be given to the voice of experience. Hillary IS well-acquainted with most of the world leaders, which would prove invaluable in future negotiations.
Furthermore, a candidate should not be judged on his or her spouse, which I feel may be the case with Mrs. Clinton.
As for the N-cat: if your grandmother knew to caution you before the arrival of company, why didn’t she speak up knowing that this was wrong!!!!! Racism is NEVER justifiable.
Patti,
Which right-wing fanatic told you Obama was a muslim? Maybe you heard about it at your church? Or did the news come to you from the Clinton camp? You should check your facts before you bore the rest of us with the usual KarlRovian misinformation.
How sad is this.. I had a long.. crafted response.. which used a link which had the f-word in it.. the site wouldn’t let my response which related my growing up in Charlotte, NC in the late 60s early 70s.. having my friends not be allowed to play with me because we had black friends..
I took twenty minutes to craft it.. but the filters erased it when it found the link to the grammar of the f-word..
so.. out of couriosity I typed in a word that I, a man who swears like a sailor.. I typed in a word I have never used except maybe in 1st grade when I then quickly learned what it meant… I typed in the n-word.. and the filter for this site was just pleased as punch.. no worries..
So.. the f-word is considered offensive (not to me!).. but the n-word isn’t.. well.. that’s f-ed.
I will say nigger all day long… a nigger’s a nigger, white, black, or otherwise. However, the word that starts with an f and rhymes with truck, when uttered aloud, is reprehensible. I just hate when someone refers to a word by its initial. Stupid. Pretty soon, any word that slightly offends any fringe group will be banned…